Smashing Telly’s Top 10 TV intros of all time.

OK, most of what I’ll post here will be full length finds – but some clips are so great and when you put them together into a list you’ve got a mini TV show.

Here are my top 10 TV intro’s of all time – post yours in the comments.

1. Hawaii Five-0 We are so not worthy-0. Book him Dan-o.

2. Knots Landing The ultimate B-league show, it had this really weird link to the characters of Dallas. But the theme tune – once you hear it, you just cannot get it out of your head – dammit. This is what it looked like on German TV, for no other reason than that’s random, and you get to hear the tune twice – so that I can ruin your day.

3. Starsky and Hutch They invented funk. Didn’t they?

4. Ironside. Saul Bass style graphics and an ear piercing wail at the beginning, that has you grasping your privates.

5. The Money Program. Jimmy Smith’s big band style from ‘The Cat’, when he switched to Verve records. I guess they knew he was just sooo money.

6. The Monkees. The band made for network TV, that spawned Cable TV, on Internet TV. The thing about the Monkees is that although they were fake, the songs were actually good. Destroys all faith in human kind.

7. Rockford Files. Everyone should own a wood-veneered answer phone system, if they want to get ahead.

8. Taxi. I think I’m gonna cry, a $10.99 keyboard from Wallgreen never sounded so good.

9. Citizen Smith. “Power to the people”, cut to sound of single baby crying.

10. Banana splits. So – Much – Fun. Did you know that the guy in the elephant costume is a Republican Congressman? How are you going to prove I’m lying? And here is the Dickies version, the fastest song ever recorded before the invention of chrystal meth. And here are some fans doing it – cos apparenty that’s what people do over at YouTube cos its one big party there. Smashing Telly is a party of one.

And please, someone, anyone, if you have them, put up the themes for the following: The Liver Birds; The Likely Lads (not the Libertines version); Z-Cars.

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Little Mosque on the Prairie Season 1 Episode 1

Dee dee dee dee, dee dee deedelee – oh, that was the other one. Great title.

If you think this is weird, here is Little House on the Prairie with rap dubbing 

And to rescue you from all this blasphemy a classic scene from the original, ‘The Meaning of Christmas‘. Handkerchief please.

Running time: 21 mins.

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Nerds 2.0.1 – The History of the Internet

Back in the old days, before Google and Web 2.0 and Social everything, there was the plain old web and this 3 part PBS series looks back at how it all began.

Running time, part 1: 1 hour

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Running time, part 2: 1 hour

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Running time part 3: 1 hour

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The French Foreign Legion

You cannot join with a French passport and you relinquish your passport when you join. A long way from Beau Geste this documentary praises the contribution of the bizarre, official French mercenary force in the other war with Iraq.

Running time: 50 mins.

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Peter Jackson’s Bad Taste

Super low budget, improvised, sci-fi/gore flick by the guy who made the biggest budget films of all time – Lord of the Rings.

Running time: 1 hour 28 mins.

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The Secret History of the Credit Card

How the relaxation of biblical usery laws in the Bible Belt, created the modern high interest rate credit card industry.

Running time: 54 mins.

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Bill Hicks’ legendary One Night Stand

Running time: 28 mins.

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Woodstock – the lost performances

Running time: 1 hour 8 mins.

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Sid and Nancy

Alex Cox’s feature film about Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen, with Gary Oldman as a very convincing Sid.

Running time: 1 hour 48 mins.

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The Boy With the Incredible Brain

Extraordinary documentary about Daniel Tammet whose mental arithmetic, linguistic and memory skills are such that he has recited Pi to 22,514 places. A feat which took 5 hours. To test him, he is to learn a new language in a week, for the film makers. Includes an interview with the real life person that was the inspiration for Dustin Hoffman’s character in Rain Man.

Trivia: The celebrated Cambridge Psychologist, Simon Baron Cohen, who examines Daniel in this film, is a second cousin of ‘Borat’ (Sacha Baron Cohen).

Running time: 48 mins.

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